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Want to Listen Like a Pro? Here’s How.

Today is "Free Listening Day," an event scheduled by Urban Confessional to be part of National Conversation Week.  I'll be holding up a "Free Listening" sign in downtown Annapolis to see what's on people's minds. For me, listening skills are critical both for my personal and professional life.  I look for every opportunity to develop my ability to listen--quietly, with an open heart and mind, and without my own agenda, judgment or interpretations creeping in. The first part is easy.  Close mouth, open heart. It's the "open mind" part that trips most of us up. We've been taught to listen [...]

Annoyed? Good. It’s Your ‘Bat Signal’ for Mindful Self-Awareness

How often do you feel annoyed during your workday? Nobody would blame you, really, considering all the insanity you deal with. Think about who brings the crazy in your office. Wouldn’t it be nice if they dialed it down? How much happier would you be if Marty stopped overpromising and under-delivering, or Karen quit turning every obstacle into Chicken Little’s nightmare? What if Shawn didn’t waste time in every meeting going off on tangents to prove how smart he is, or if Marie just spoke up instead of hurling passive-aggressive daggers at everyone after-the-fact because no one asked for her [...]

By |2018-10-08T20:07:08+00:007:51 pm|Uncategorized|0 Comments

Using Emotional Data at Work

In this ten-minute video, I riff with burnout prevention coach Travis Roznos about using emotional data at work, and tell a story about what happened when one client, an elite sales executive, didn't recognize an emotional trigger.   After the video, I'll describe how that same sales executive turned the situation around.  (And I promise better lighting in the next video!) Identify the Trigger, Question the Narrative, and Change the Mindset Shortly after this video interview, I had another session with "Bono," my rockstar client.  He recognized that the son had triggered a fear of failure, which caused [...]

By |2018-10-08T20:32:49+00:005:19 pm|Emotional Intelligence|0 Comments

Avoiding “Nightmare” Hires: A Case Study

How to Employ Emotional Intelligence to Build Your Team and Boost Your Career Have you noticed that those who hire the best talent tend to have the most successful careers? Emotional intelligence (EQ) is the key: understanding and practicing the EQ skills that support decision-making increases your confidence level, gets you through the hiring process quicker, and allows you to onboard an enviable share of top talent. Here’s how one hiring manager bypassed common pitfalls and employed emotional intelligence to make a successful hire. Follow her lead to create your own dream team. Avoid Turning a Blind Eye to Red [...]

How to Re-Energize Stalled Career Growth

Despite our fondest wishes, career progress isn’t always a straight, upward trajectory. For most of us, it looks more like the Colorado Plateaus, which the folks at Encyclopedia Brittanica (remember them?) describe as “dominated by high mountains … gashed by river canyons or scarred with dry gullies … great shallow basins, sunken deserts, picturesque buttes and mesas, and rare verdant sections of valley.” I don’t know about you, but that’s a pretty accurate description of the vast and ever-changing landscape of my career. Steep learning curves. Deep river canyons where powerful external forces sweep me along at a terrifying pace [...]

The Hurry in Your Head

A New York Times Op-Talk blog got me thinking about a common theme among my clients and friends: chronic overwhelm. The article focuses on breathing, reframing and working less as solutions, but in my experience, those can be helpful only after we’ve gone a bit deeper. Throughout my career, I created unmanageable to-do lists that at best simply paralyzed me, and at worst left me feeling lonely and inadequate.  I rushed around chasing my impossibly long list of daily goals and failed, leaving me exhausted, disappointed, and chronically late. Day by day, I created a habitual downward spiral, suffering the [...]

Practical Emotional Intelligence: Mindful Interviewing

For interviewers and candidates, mindful interviewing can help accurately assess the quality of the fit Long before I began making my living as an emotional intelligence coach, I was a “headhunter.” I taught candidates how to ace an interview, and to prepare to meet the hiring managers (whom I was simultaneously teaching to dig beneath candidate résumés to uncover behaviors that were likely to repeat). Unfortunately, those techniques were more about increasing the likelihood that a candidate would be hired than about mindful and authentic matchmaking. I’ve come to realize that the process of interviewing is much more rewarding when [...]

By |2018-10-08T20:38:51+00:0012:49 pm|Business Skills, EQ Skills|0 Comments

Emotional Energy Part Two: Sowing What You Want To Reap

Once you’ve raised your awareness of what you feel, when you feel it, and where you feel it, you can take full responsibility for regulating the emotional energy you bring to the events of the day. You’ll have an opportunity to consider how you are contributing to a positive or negative environment, and can make an informed decision about how you want to show up in the world. This last part—developing a sense of how your emotional energy may be perceived by others—is critical to successful interactions with peers, managers and direct reports, not to mention spouses, siblings, parents, children, [...]

By |2018-10-08T20:41:18+00:0010:02 pm|Emotional Energy|0 Comments

Emotional Energy Part One: Developing Emotional Self Awareness

In a previous post, I mentioned the importance of taking full responsibility for the emotional energy you bring into the room. Any room. Every room. Every day. But what does that mean, exactly, and how does one take responsibility for one’s emotional energy? Part of the foundational emotional intelligence skill set is emotional self-awareness, which I define in three parts: knowing what you’re feeling at the moment you feel it, understanding what triggered it, and having a sense of how your emotional state affects everyone around you. Knowing what you’re feeling in the moment isn’t always easy. We’ve all grown [...]

By |2018-10-08T20:49:03+00:0010:01 pm|Emotional Energy|0 Comments

Foundational EQ Skills

In a previous post about authentic networking, I mentioned that there is a process by which we can become more grounded and clear about what we really want to do in the world. This is the key to giving others the opportunity to tell you whether or not they can help you. Your level of clarity will also make it easy for them to give you specific help in the areas you need it most. Underlying the process of developing clarity and authenticity are the emotional intelligence skills that form the basis for well-being, work performance, high emotional and social [...]

By |2018-10-08T21:11:10+00:0010:00 pm|EQ Skills|0 Comments